The worst part about getting your heart broken?
The fact that it takes a while for the dull thump of disappointment to go away.
There is also the world. It expects you to pick everything up and be okay. But it isn't because underneath the exterior of calm contentedness is that dull thump.
thump thump. it hurts. thump thump. why me. thump thump. why now. thump thump.
I did something on Thursday that I never planned on doing- I had a meltdown. I left early because I couldn't keep my chin up. Because I cried on and off for the entire day.
Everyone has been really supportive. "There are more programs," "They're fools," "Try again next year," "Everything happens for a reason."
I appreciate all of the kind words from friends and family. (Well, mostly friends. I've sort of avoided talking to most of my family this weekend. Especially my Grandma. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my Gram, but she's a good little old Jewish lady. So nothing is ever about "I'm sorry, let's move on." It's always more like "I'm sorry, let's wallow in it." And that's just not what I need right now.)
I'm going on. But still, behind everything I do, say or think, there it is.
thump thump. thump thump.
(side note- B and I are fine. I'm under the assumption that hearts break over anything you want badly that doesn't work out for you)
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1 comment:
If you really want to teach you could look into getting a teaching certificate for the state of MD. I hear they're still hiring.
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